'Inspiration' is our magazine featuring articles, information and news on our titles, the topics we publish about and authors, reviews and associated topics.
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We hope plenty of you managed to view the partial eclipse this morning. We were lucky, the early mist and cloud dispersed in perfect time for us to get a really good view. Magically this is said to be an ideal time to make changes in our lives, the greatest such time since 2012. Hopefully greater awareness and care for the Earth will break through to those just concentrating on money and power!
Julia came across this next piece, anonymously written, recently and we felt it especially touching and worth sharing:
Letter From a Mother to a Daughter
My dear girl, the day you see I'm getting old, I ask you to please be patient, but most of all, try to understand what I'm going through.
If, when we talk, I repeat the same thing a thousand times, don't interrupt to say: "You said the same thing a minute ago"... Just listen please. Try to remember the times when you were little and I would read the same story night after night until you would fall asleep.
When I don't want to take a bath, don't be mad and don't embarrass me. Remember when I had to run after you making excuses and trying to get you to take a shower when you were just a girl?
When you see how ignorant I am when it comes to new technology, give me time to learn and don't look at me that way....remember, honey, I patiently taught you how to do many things like eating appropriately, getting dressed, combing your hair and dealing with life's issues every day....the day you see I'm getting old, I ask you to please be patient, but most of all, try to understand what I'm going through.
If I occasionally lose track of what we are talking about, give me the time to remember, and if I can't, don't be nervous, impatient of arrogant. Just know in your heart that the most important thing for me is to be with you.
And when my old tired legs don't let me move as quickly as before, give me your hand the same way that I offered you mine when you first walked.
When those days come, don't feel sad,,,,just be with me and understand me while I get to the end of my life with love.
I'll cherish and thank you for the gift of time and joy we shared. With a big smile and the huge love I've always had for you, I just want to say, I love you my darling daughter.
Fairy Stories by Helena Hawley
The winter of 2009-2010 was rather different to those we normally have in Chester. So I had to adapt my plans to fit in with the limitations and opportunities of “The Big Freeze” as we called it.
When the temperatures were sub-zero, riding my horse was not an option, so I tried to give myself as much time walking in nearby hills as I could for exercise. Wales had much more snow and ice than the local forestry, so many of my wanderings took place in England on days when the roads were safe enough to drive on. The 18th February was one of those days.
I was glad of the trees in Primrose Wood. I not only enjoyed the energies from them and their physical beauty, but also the shelter from winter’s icy blast. Equipped with a map, as usual, I noticed an area marked, “Urchins Kitchen”. My intuition told me that this must surely be an area well populated with fairies, which people were no doubt aware of around the time that it acquired its name. So I decided to pay it a visit. As I walked through this little sheltered creek with some exposed sandstone rocks and mosses, I paused to communicate with the fairies.
Tuning in to them, I felt their presence keenly and let them know I was open to them. They brought me a gift of summer flowers, as they said they knew my heart was longing for summer and its warmth. I gave them a gift of silvery sparkling fairy mist. I did not know there was such a thing, but when I asked them what they would like, that is what came to me to give to them. I told them that in winter, I usually felt better amongst the trees than anywhere else. They told me they were glad I had spoken to them. I sensed that the veil between dimensions was thinner there than in many other places.
18th and 19th May 2010, found me in Sauerland, Germany leading a little workshop. The purpose was to share sound healing and how it could be used to help strengthen one’s connection with the nature kingdom. So on the afternoon of 18th, I took the group of people out into the countryside. Surveying the fields and an abundance of trees, I asked them all to spend an hour alone connecting with which ever of the trees they felt most attracted to. So armed with pen and journal, each of us went our own way for a while.
This was also my golden opportunity to enjoy both fresh air and physical movement. Therefore I decided to go at a smart pace straight up the hillside to the most distant tree I had time to reach. Once through the woods, I was out in the open fields again. I spotted a tree on the horizon and headed for it.
Surrounded by grassland, it was growing almost alone. There were just two small saplings or bushes beside it, which looked just as though they were there to keep it company and provide support. I saw the analogy with the people on Earth. We are here to support each other. Though we come from different countries and races, we are all one. The tree vibrations were so friendly as they reached me, while I sat comfortably on a bench writing.
From within the tree, out came six or seven little tree spirits to make themselves known to me and greet me. They spoke.
“We bring silver light. We spread it around the globe. Let us grow and manifest in your gardens, towns and wild places on the Earth. Feel us. Enjoy us and be thankful, as we are to you, to those of you whose ears are open. Share us with others that they too will come to know us.”
I stood up and thanked the tree with open arms. I knew I had to sing my love to it. The tones that came through me reminded me of the sounds of a happy wind. Situated on top of that exposed hill, it must have been a familiar language to the tree.
The next day, when the whole group of us got together to sing for a beautiful beech tree, the nature spirits and the surrounding countryside, there appreciation of our healing sounds was palpable.
When I returned home to England and took time one evening to roam around amidst the trees near my house, I noticed I perceived the trees differently. “Look at all these people here!” were my thoughts as I sensed their beingness. They were like entities to me. I could not feel alone in their presence.
So I suppose it is not surprising that when I was walking around the countryside near Glastonbury during the first week of June, I felt strongly attracted by a huge pine tree of some kind. It had no low branches, just a very big trunk and a canopy of foliage at the top of it. It grew in a small clearing in the middle of a wood.
I walked over to it, admiring and enjoying the texture and colour of the bark, as I placed my hands on it. Then I stretched my arms out as though to measure its great girth. “You must be pretty old, aren’t you?” I enquired.
“I am not concerned with longevity.
I just am.
I only have to be”, replied the tree.
This was a tree of few words, great stillness and wisdom. Few humans would have given such a reply.
At home again, I spotted three elderly yew trees, again not far from my house.
I was feeling weary that Sunday evening, so any reason to pause and rest was welcome. I stood with my back to the tree feeling its energy, which was strong both in and around it. I experienced how connecting with the yew brought my mind to relative stillness. As I felt and saw clairvoyantly how grounded it was with the roots going into the earth and how well it reached out with its branches to connect with the light above, I remembered how good it felt to be in a still place, well grounded and at the same time open to the light and divine inspiration. Feeling the peace and complete absence of fear, I realised how much I could help a nervous or insecure horse by putting myself into this state. The horse would feel it, and start to mirror me. It would feel safer with me. This principal could be used to help any animal or person, not just a horse one might be sitting on. It is such a stable and secure feeling.
As a bonus, when I walked away after my rest leaning against the tree in its strong energy field, I had more spring in my stride, for which I thanked the tree.
Thinking Magically with Plants By Tylluan Penry
One of the wonderful things about plants is that there are no hard and fast rules. Although they have been used in magic since ancient times, their meanings remain fluid and can be easily adapted. The trick to using plants in your spells isn’t to have a handbook of their uses, or even to start learning about botany – what you need to do is to learn how to think magically. Once you do – and it’s not difficult - you’ll suddenly notice that your entire magical practice seems to expand in all directions.
Many people are put off using plants because they aren’t confident they will identify them correctly. The newspapers are always bewailing the fact that people nowadays can no longer tell a blue tit from a bat, or a poisonous plant from one that is safe to cook in a pie! But of course, you don’t actually need to ingest magical ingredients, so provided you observe sensible precautions such as proper hand washing, precise identification isn’t necessary to discover a plant’s magical properties. Instead let your eyes and nose do the work. Remember – as above so below. A plant’s physical appearance, characteristics and uses, will influence its magical properties.
Start with things you can identify easily, such as Lavender. It’s a pretty plant, difficult to mistake from anything else because of its distinctively fragrant leaves and flowers. (If the purple/blue flowers don’t smell right then it isn’t Lavender!) How is the plant normally used? What do you know about it already? Probably quite a lot. For example, it’s a popular aromatherapy oil for dealing with headaches, burns, and ensuring a good night’s sleep. It’s also used in air fresheners, furniture polish so presumably it makes things smell clean, and if you chop it up finely it can even be sprinkled in salads or used to flavour caster sugar. Knowing this very basic information, you can then begin to work out its magical properties.
All strong smelling plants can be used in magical cleansing, so don’t be afraid to be guided by your nose! Lavender fragrance is a popular addition to furniture polish and washing powder, so there’s a clue. It makes things smell clean and cared for. Actually its Latin name, Lavendula comes from the Latin word ‘lavare’ meaning to wash. So magically we can use it for cleansing rituals before casting a spell or to purify places and objects. Either add some flower heads or essential oil to the bathwater, or use the dried flowers and leaves in incense.
If we can use Lavender to soothe headaches then we can adapt this magically to clear the mind prior to divination. Sprinkled on a pillow, it can help ensure a good night’s sleep, so magically it could also be used to help induce premonitions since these often occur naturally just as we drift off to sleep.
Another easy plant to identify is the Stinging Nettle. Most people nowadays regard it as a nuisance, but at one time it was highly prized as a tonic for cleansing the blood. The long stringy stems of older plants have even been used for weaving to make a fabric known as nettle cloth. This could explain why the word ‘Nettle’ may have the same root as our word ‘needle,’ and I’ve even heard it suggested that the word Nettle is derived from early words meaning ‘to sew.’
Of course, even if you don’t know about tonics and weaving, there is one thing almost everyone quickly learns about nettles – they sting. Who doesn’t remember brushing past a patch of Nettles only to suddenly see great white itchy blotches appear on our arms and legs? Basically stinging nettles are equipped with minute hollow hairs filled with venom that breaks off and pierces our skin, a bit like a hypodermic syringe. The term ‘urticaria’ is used for any allergy (for example, to penicillin or strawberries) that brings us out in a similar itchy reaction and interestingly the scientific name for a nettle is Urtica dioica.
But how does any of this help us magically? Well, if we suffer a reaction to something it generally suggests incompatibility. So we could add Nettle to any spell involving conflict, hostility, or avoidance. If we are trying to alert someone to potential danger, adding Nettle to the spell might just be what they need. Dried Nettles however, which no longer sting, are better to use when trying to resolve a dispute.
But why does a Nettle sting? Perhaps it’s a self defence mechanism in order to prevent it from being eaten. No grazing animals are going to tackle a plant that makes their tongues swell and itch! So this gives us another clue about its magical properties - the fresh herb (which can still sting) can be useful in all types of protective magic, including psychic self-defence.
And what about the idea that Nettles could cleanse the blood? This suggests the plant could be used in any type of spell involving purification or leaving old habits and relationships behind, particularly affairs of the heart or those involving intense emotions. I’m not sure everyone would welcome Nettles – even dried ones! - in with the bathwater, however, so another way to use them is to drink Nettle tea (an infusion of boiling water over the leaves) or even add a little tea to the bathwater!
What more can we discover about the Nettle? Look at where it grows – just about anywhere which shows that it’s a great plant for taking advantage of whatever is on offer. It has real staying power too, remaining in an area even after humans have long since left. So magically speaking, whenever we want to seize opportunities, or perhaps even tackle situations that other people would find daunting, we should seriously consider using Nettle to help us.
Nettles contain long, stringy fibres, which you will notice if you have ever tried hacking them down rather than cutting them. They don’t break easily but can bend until their heads face the ground, and still they will not break. As we’ve already noted, these stringy fibres have in the past been used for weaving, sewing and even making cords. So from this we can see that magically Nettles would be useful in work that involves persistence, courage and even binding spells.
Another possibility with any plant that can be used for making cloth (for example, Flax which is used to make linen) is to magically cloak or hide something. Therefore something we wished to conceal could be covered with Nettles (either physically or symbolically as you cast your spell) or we could use the plant in spell work requiring any sort of disguise or hidden secret.
When I was a child, I thought the most magical thing of all about Nettles was that whenever I was stung there was usually a natural remedy growing nearby. This was the humble Dock leaf, which really does contain an antidote to the venom in Nettles, and oh, the relief they brought! So you might want to use Dock in any spell requiring Nettle in order to negate or limit any unpleasant side effects while maintaining the Nettle’s original power.
I hope from this you can already see that even the most ordinary plants can offer us a huge range of possibilities. And you don’t have to memorise any of this, it’s all a matter of learning to think magically. Even if you didn’t know a Nettle’s botanical name, or the fact that people used it to make sheets and tablecloths you would have observed for yourself that it could sting, and you might even have noticed that it was tough and stringy. Just using that small amount of information could then reveal many of the plant’s magical properties.
Learning to think magically is the key to accessing not only the magical properties of any available plants, but also your own, innate magical authority.
Regarding “The Wizard’s Way to Wealth’ by Ian Edwards
A few years ago, when worried about money, I decided to try popping a citrine crystal into my purse - an old remedy for too little money coming in too slowly and going out too fast! As I bought it I commented that I had never won on the premium bonds! Well, what a lovely surprise, when the next week, I received a letter to say that one of my premium bonds had come up! It was not a large amount, but very welcome. And WOW! - was this just a coincidence?
I was therefore very excited when “The Wizard’s Way to Wealth” arrived, especially at this time which is so difficult for many of us and the words “credit crunch” are becoming more familiar than that of popular breakfast cereals. Not only is it an extremely good read (the section on his experiences with a traditional magic worker in South America is especially fascinating) - it has numerous tips both magical and practical to help the flow and accumulation of true wealth.
We have been putting ideas into action since receiving this book and I can honestly say that finances have improved noticeably over the last few months and appear to be set to continue to rise.
But there is more...... Whilst proof reading the manuscript, I was discussing with a friend their desperate financial situation. With bills unable to be paid and the basic services becoming threatening, life was desperately stressful. I passed on several tips from “The Wizards Way to Wealth” and she and her partner set about small changes in their home - nothing expensive, just cleaning and decluttering, introducing a talisman by the front door and clearing the area around it. I then received an amazing letter from her. Out of the blue, from a totally unexpected source, a cheque arrived. Not for fifty pounds as she first thought or even five hundred. It was a cheque for five thousand pounds! It was enough to pay the outstanding bills, ensure a happy Yule and Christmas and help matters for months to come!
I swear that all these things are true. “The Wizard’s Way to Wealth” is fun and interesting to read. It helps readers to effect postive changes in their financial state and I really look forward to hearing of many more such happy stories!
P. S. After writing this my friend wrote to say that she had just won £450 on the lottery!!
Food For thought:
The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.
The French eat a lot of fat and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.
The Japanese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.
The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.
CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. What kills you is speaking English.
THE SHAPES OF THINGS TO COME By Sue Phillips
If we look at natural things like rocks and trees we may see patterns there that have messages for us. I recently saw the runes Wyn and Sigil in a tree and these seemed to answer a question I had running around in my mind at the time. Later I looked at the same tree and realised that what I had taken for
Wyn had now become Thorn with a very different meaning. Had I misinterpreted the sign first time round? No, but things had changed and so had the message by a subtle alteration in my perceptions. In this way I find that I can read the patterns in the web of creation, known in the Northern Tradition as the
Web of Wyrd. This web links everything and everyone in creation, past present and future. Everything that happens, every action or even thought will vibrate the web and cause a reaction, changing the pattern woven into the web and subtly altering the future in ways that may appear to have no
bearing on the original event. The web's pattern can be seen everywhere: in cloud formations, wind direction and the behaviour of animals. Sometimes we will simply perceive a shape in a branch or on the ground that has meaning for us. Perhaps we find that every traffic light turns red as we come to it,
or that almost every vehicle we pass is the same colour. Such things may prove to be significant.
Sometimes my attention will be caught by a feather that has fallen upright into the ground. If it is pale, then generally I can expect some news about general day to day life; if black, then there may be a message of a more mystical nature. A line of clouds stretching across the sky like a queue of
traffic warned me to allow extra time for an important journey. We set off early in the morning and noticed as the day wore on how the traffic was building up. Had we left home even an hour later, we would have spent a considerable time in traffic queues that had not been expected. The roads
were generally not busy at all so late in the year.
In a place called Runamo in Sweden there is a phenomenon that may have valuable lessons to teach us. A line of runes ran along veins of quartz that stood out from granite rock faces. These veins were followed by a path and were known as the Lindorn [Earth Dragon]. In the thirteenth century, Saxo
Grammaticus described the scene as "a ridge with a path .. dotted over with peculiar written characters. This path can be seen all the way from the sea into the wilderness of Varend, along which two lines extend for a long way, one line being on each side of the path. The space between is narrow and its
surface is followed by runic inscriptions. Even though the path sometimes leads across mountains and sometimes leads through the valleys, traces of runic writing can be seen along the entire path." It may seem surprising that the people living then, when knowledge of the runes was fairly widespread, should have difficulties reading the inscriptions but this was the case. And even the greatest experts could make no sense of the inscriptions. According to local lore it recorded the Battle of Bravoll between the armies of Harald Hilditonn and Sigurd Hring around 700 c.e. In 1833 the Royal Society of Denmark set up a committee to investigate and an expedition to the site was led by Funnur Magnusson of Copenhagen
University. They recorded runes from 22 metres of rock face and Magnusson then spent 10 months trying to decipher these runes with no success. Just as he was about to give up he noticed what looked like a wend-rune, a method of rune writing between two lines that form a pattern and in which the text may run forwards or backwards depending on its position in the pattern and may contain codes and bindrunes - special patterns formed by runes being inscribed one on top of another. Magnusson described how he wrote down his translation in a trance, deciphering a number of complex bind runes. What appeared was a poem in Old Norse in a classical form called fornyrdislag:
Hildekind captured the kingdom
Gardar carved the runes
Ola took the oath
May Odin hallow the magic
May King Hring
Fall in dust
The Elves, the Love-Gods
Must leave Ola
Odin and Frey
And the race of Aesir
At first Magnusson was hailed as a genius; but when geologists later examined the site they proclaimed these runes to be simply natural cracks in the rock and not carved at all. Magnusson was derided but clung to his claim. Nigel Pennick makes the point that although the scientists were correct; a fine runic poem still came into being through these strange marks. Magnusson's ability and honesty were never doubted during all of this so it doesn't seem to have been a deliberate hoax but a genuine attempt to
decipher what he saw. The fact that it seems to have appeared naturally may make this an even more powerful example of the messages available to those willing to look.
Boscastle Museum of Witchcraft
Now for some very good news: the Friends of the Boscastle Museum of Witchcraft is now a registered charity. The Charity Comission registration became effective from 10th July. The actual registration process was very easy and straightforward; it took about six weeks and went very smoothly. This means that the "Friends" can now really dedicate itself to ensuring that the Museum survives and thrives, and to raising funds to extend the Museum's collection, library and archives, publishing, and education and exhibition work. It also means that all membership fees and donations will be part of the Gift Aid scheme, which means additional funds via the tax system, enabling the Museum grow and develop as a world class resource on witchcraft and folk magic. The Friends will soon be circulating details as to how people can join and become involved in their work.
Quote from another happy customer:
"...I'm especially delighted with the Anna Franklin book "Magical Incenses and Oils". I recently bought a box of assorted herbs and incenses and was looking for a book in which to concoct my own "recipes"!
This book has it all, and the ingredients listed seem to be easily available to buy from my local herbalist. I also like the way the book is set out with the different oils/incenses for Goddesses/Gods and rituals for
the year etc. If you see or speak to Anna please congratulate her from me on a wonderful book! I'm really tempted now to buy her "Herbcraft" book!
I am also an avid collector/caster of crystals, and have many books on the subject, so did I really need another one? When I received the Gale Hallaran crystal divination book - the answer is yes! She has packed a lot of information in the book which I will find really useful." k.A.
On The Importance of Being Sheep by Julia Day
It is time to share with the unfortunate human species a few home truths about the importance of our species. Our talented four-footedness, (apart from unfortunate foot infections) has led to our natural groundedness in all matters. Therefore, we feel that it is time to put the human race right and correct about several important matters, namely, the importance of sheep.
Truly, the signs have been there for thousands of years, but our natural modesty and the density of the human intuition have led to misconceptions. Now that we have entered the New Millennium, the New Age, the Aquarian Age and anything else that you humans wish to call it, it is time for True Enlightenment.
Indeed, our simple philosophy has led to a lack of understanding of our true power. And what is this philosophy? If you cannot eat it, procreate the species with it, bash it down or jump over it to reach one of the other two and don’t need to run away from it, then it probably does not matter. Had humans only adopted this simple philosophy, all could be so much calmer for them. Still, now has come the time for sharing, so I shall.
Firstly, the clues are all there. Even in your most sacred writings, dating back hundreds and thousands of years - we appear. OK - the references may be cunningly disguised as many great truths are - but even so - for those in the know - they are there. Take for instance that great book, The Bible. What animal appears throughout it? Yes, the sheep! In the tragic tale of Abraham and Isaac? Yes, a ram. (That noble soul giving his life for that poor boy.) And how may God’s greatest representative on Earth be referred to. Yes, the Lamb of God. And at his Nativity when the Divine comes into human form? Yes - who are there again? Watching the angels in the fields, coming to the stable? Yes, it is sheep again. It is sad to think that had they only had greater representation in the Garden of Eden, human history could well have been so different. Still, people have never really listened to us, until now.
The second point to make is about sacred sites. You see them all over the country, mounds and circles and avenues. And what do they contain? No, not tourists. Stones? Y-e-s stones, but something else, something else beginning with an s - yes, SHEEP! Go to a great centre such as Avebury and there you will see them among the stones - the true sacred guardians of the place - quietly shaping and preserving the landscape, stopping it returning to primeval forest, or at least to nasty brambles that will seriously scratch your legs and ruin your clothes when you go to “feel the vibes”. And the small sites too, those less well known, they too have their sheep guardians. Even those too small or too hidden to have stones, they too have sheep. Indeed, wherever you see sheep, a mere human may miss the true and deep Earth energies that the sheep are guarding.
The last point that I make, (I could make so many, but perhaps you could add your own) alludes to the reason for a terrible atrocity of modern times. This is something that may cause a great shadow of sorrow within the mind of humanity - but from the sorrow will come the Light of Understanding.
It is a fact Druids may under-stand, (they did not build Stonehenge you know - I will leave you to guess the true creators, long before Druids trod the grass) and they may even have taken on the true mantle of the sheep in this - repeating our deeply hidden role, (but forgot the true originators of this role.) Are you ready? It is a great revelation, for....
Sheep hold peace in the land-scape. It is the role of sheep to graze calmly and safely, (“where sheep may safely graze”) and thus to hold and instill the Peace of the Land deeply into the countryside. This matter is understood deeply by those with magical sensibilities and those with a natural love for and respect for sheep. Sadly, it is also under-stood by those of dark and evil intent. And the last few years in the Heartland of Britain have shown this in the most terrible manner. Millions of innocent sheep were sacrificed to this terror, their bodies burnt on sacrificial fires or buried in sacrificial pits. The guardians of peace were removed wholesale from great tracts of the landscape. And what happened? War, of course. Bloody war. The country was turned over into the hands of war mongers and fear merchants and innocent flocks of sheep and goats, scratching a meagre desert living in other countries were bombed. The point is proven beyond doubt. These images are too terrible, but I just had to tell you. You had to know. After all, those who desire blood knew it - it is time you did.
Yes, we understand that you eat us. Truly we do - on a great scale, on the scale of that which is “sheep” to which all sheep belong. We understand it as we understand the predator (and run from one for our lives) but this lack of understanding, this crime on so great a scale, so full of lies and evil and fear, we could not pass by without comment.
Sheep hold peace in the landscape. Wear our wool. Eat us if you must, we will even give our lives in sacrifice, but not this way. Not what was done. So - we have spoken. Love us, revere us, wear us, eat us, know what we do and what was done in the name of evil. And ask yourself this, now I know this, even if I am a predator, even if I eat the flesh, do I condone what was done? Do I agree to the cover-ups and the lies and the evil? To the “laws” that say this may be done again to any animal, any species on any pretext? Or do I choose respect? Do I choose Peace in the Land?
We sheep choose Peace. That is our way. What do you choose?
Virus on Trust!
We received a virus warning email - “You have just received the Amish virus, we do not use modern technology and work on trust so please delete all your files now. Thank you”
On Clutter and Disorder by Jeannie Judd
For all those made to feel guilty for having clutter in their lives.
Whenever I put something away in a neat and ‘safe’ place, I can rarely find it easily again. This brought me to the following conclusion: some of us are simply born with the kind of mind and personality that sees order in a cluttered environment. Others are born with the kind of mind that sees order only in a neat and tidy environment. Isn’t creation wonder-ful therefore in giving the world such harmonious balance?
The Creation of Humans by Julia Day & Sheba
The great Goddess Bast who was (of course) perfect created the cat, who was and is, (of course), perfect. And she created mice and small birds, so that they had food and fun chasing them.
But later, much later, she also invented the tin. And the tin was wonderful. For it contained tuna and salmon. But, the tin, unlike the cat, was not perfect, for the tin could not be opened with paws. And therefore, Bast created the human. For, the human had paws that could open tins. And the humans also could invent things like central heating and keep it maintained and so Bast smiled and saw that it was good and that humans had their uses.
And cats came to smile upon humans also and to love them. And so, they gave them their purrs and their warm furriness and the humans, (at least, the pleasant and intelligent ones) found themselves well pleased.
But some humans, (being not cats and therefore not perfect) did not understand this and began to mistake their role in the Universe. And they became misguided and thought that their role was other than to open tins and work central heating. And with that, came a great hole in the understanding of humans, so that they felt hollow and empty and the worst even forgot to worship cats. But we must attempt to forgive them, for being not cats, they are not perfect and cannot help themselves.
But most of all, we must learn to avoid the damaged humans. Those that would harm us, for this world does contain impure and imperfect creatures and there are even humans so impure that they would try to hurt a cat.
But, there are some who rest between these groups and it is a service to the Universe to train and save them, if possible.
We may train these humans by sitting on the laps of those who claim that they do not love us, so that they may realise their terrible error and come at last to a realisation of their True place in this Universe.
Especially, we must work upon those men who claim not to like cats, for therein lies the route to many homes and hearts and tins. Once you have passed the threshold of their ignorance, we may educate household after household further.
And when we have enslaved the men, so that despite repeating, “I do not like cats”, they find themselves loving us, we may rejoice. For we have brought the light to a poor species, one that lacks fur, whiskers and even a tail and is ridiculous at catching mice and we have made it feel, if only for an instant, what it is like to be Truly loved by the Real Creatress of the Universe.
Afterwards, you can of course, totally ignore them.
A useful tip
If your humans are substandard with the central heating, do implant the thought that a burst water pipe costs far more than the few miserly pounds that heating the house well will cost them in order to avoid trouble. The best time to plant this thought is when they are asleep, or about to go to sleep, for then they are fractionally close to the lower levels below cats’ magical under-standing. It is also a good time to make them get up and switch the heating back on again.